4.4.12

Self-professed nerd.

Coffee fueled sentences and lines falling off the page. This is what my life is like. I love what I study...every now and then in the middle of a lecture, I grin and remember to appreciate the fact that I am blessed to be studying at a tertiary level. I routinely grumble about the amount of work that I have piling up on my desk and the ridiculous amount of readings that are assigned for each class, but the truth is, I am a complete and utter nerd, inside and out.

I enjoy the taste of words as they roll off my tongue. I struggle not to find my worth as a person in my grades. I tingle with satisfaction when I see the footnotes in my essay all formatted correctly. I have a crippling fear that I am going to fail my degree, but even then I think, at least that means I can stay at university and study some more. I love to proof read other peoples grammar and punctuation, and there is nothing more irritating than a spelling mistake in the middle of a beautifully constructed piece of writing. I also share a deep affinity with Hermione Granger and I like to imagine that if I was a character in Harry Potter, we would be great friends. I struggle to understand why people wouldn't want to read for a living. I devour books in the holidays like they are a staple food in my diet, and during semester when I don't have time to read anything but textbooks and case studies, I feel like a small part of me is being fatally neglected. 


This nerdiness is but a fraction of who I am, yet it defines so much of what I do, and what my goals are. And I find that so ironic, because if someone had told me 6 years ago that I would be studying Law, Development Studies and Maori Resource Management at Victoria University of Wellington, I would have laughed them off and told them that a) there is no way that I would move to Wellington, b) there is no way I want to be a lawyer and c) I am instead going to travel the world with nothing but the clothes on my back (imagine me in a long hippie skirt and multiple strings of beads) and a copy of Keats complete works. The latter is still most definitely going to happen, with plans to travel to Afghanistan and Cuba having been thrown in the mix. But here I am. Sitting on top of a hill at Victoria University of Wellington, drinking my third coffee of the day, eyeing up my 11 page essay and half-wishing that I could just sleep all day instead of attending class. Still not explicitly wanting to be a lawyer, but implicitly falling in love with the way our world works, its cracks and bruises, and the potential it has to heal people. Falling further in love with the tangata whenua of this country, who they are and what they can teach me about guarding this gem of a land. 

It is all leading me towards this culmination of passions and experiences, the light at the end of the tunnel, the place where theories, people and reality meet. I won't just be studying the development of indigenous peoples in South-East Asia; I will be living it, loving them, learning them. I won't just be writing case studies and quote legal principles; I will be a part of it, acting justly and loving mercy (Micah 6:8). I won't just be feeling butterflies of  excitement in my stomach as a lecturer talks of Hua Parakore, te ao Maori and Organic Produce Certification; I will be sinking my hands deep in to the rich earth and feeling the wairua within the land and its stories.  How exciting is that?! I am in the middle of a painful yet wonderful affair with my degree. 

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