I've already shared this song before, but I absolutely love it and speaks to me tonight.
I sit in a new bed. In a new room, in a different house. I have moved, from a little box on top of a car park building in the CBD, in to a huge rabbit warren of a house with 7 other people.
My sister called it a commune. I call it following Jesus' calling. It's most probably both.
The thing is, I am scared. I do find that the things God wants me to do are usually the things that scare me the most. Going against my parents expectations and taking a year to study theology ... moving to Wellington to study law ... moving in to an intentional community committed to bringing God's kingdom to the darkest corners of the earth. These things scare the hell out of me.
Funny that. Scaring the hell out of me. I fear my Lord, and love Him so. So much so that I have no choice but to follow my love blindly, afraid and in love. I witness these amazing transformations as darkness is lit up, and hell is overcome with hope. Yet I am not alone to witness the coming of this beautiful kingdom, because I have whanau with whom to share it with. A community on whom I can lean.
So as my hands tremble, I am suddenly aware of this deep-rooted sense of peace in my belly. We are not alone. We can do this. We are called.
In two weeks I will be back in Auckland for the summer break. It will be the end of my first year in Wellington, back to square one. But so much has changed...as I sit in my old bed, in my old room, in the same old house, I will be a different person. I wonder where the change is visible? How am I different? I can't quite place it, but I have shifted, regardless of my geographical location.
Nelson Mandela said "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." I await this discovery with bated breath.