Come and follow.

You know, it's crazy, really. It's crazy that, as I sit here, rain on the windowpanes, the shuddering of traffic driving by 12 floors below me, desk light illuminating my textbooks. I have electricity. I have warm clothes. I have a bed, two pillows, a home. Yet, I find it so hard to make out the figure of Jesus, and follow Him.
When a man came up to Jesus, eager to follow Him, and asked Him how one gains eternal life, Jesus laid down the ground rules. "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." No metaphor. No skewed interpretation. Just...
Sell your possessions and give to the poor.
Then come, follow me.

I look at this elephant soft toy and wonder how many little ones shiver on a windy night like tonight, with nothing to comfort them. While I, a 19 year old, sleep with it every night.

I look at my wardrobe...I own two winter jackets, but the words of Dorothy Day echo in my head; "If you own two coats, one belongs to the poor."

Jesus was clear in his words. We cannot follow Him with all our stuff. The sheer weight of our crap, our materialism, our luggage, will weigh us down. We are called to pick up our cross and follow Him, and we simply cannot hold both the cross, and our Louis Vuitton luggage set.
When Jesus sent out His twelve disciples to spread the good news, he said to them "Do not get any gold or silver or copper to take with you in your belts— no bag for the journey or extra shirt or sandals or a staff, for the worker is worth his keep. Whatever town or village you enter, search there for some worthy person and stay at their house until you leave. As you enter the home, give it your greeting. If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet." 

The Kingdom. A new kingdom. An ancient kingdom. It not only awaits us, but it welcomes us and yearns for us. And we are called to bring this kingdom to earth, as is in heaven. This kingdom is community and love. Hospitality, manaakitanga. Peace, simplicity, sacrificial. The complete opposite of this world, where what we own or what we do or who we associate with or what we wear, defines our worth. There is no room for stuff, if we are to come, and follow Christ. There is no room for materialism, consumerism, fake smiles and pretty masks. Because at the foot of the cross, where the light shines upon the darkness, we are illuminated, wretched and beautiful, and we are whispered to, softly...come, follow me.   When our own mess is revealed in that light, how can we look upon the mess of our brothers and sisters with self-righteous sneers? At the foot of the cross, we are equal, we are whanau. That is where true community is experienced. Sell all your possessions and give to the poor. Then come, follow me.

Is that really so difficult?

in my silence, I hardly recognise
what you look like, who I see.
I beg, Papa,
reveal Yourself to me!
Tell me your hopes, your dreams,
the plans you see.
Fill me with silence.
Yours, Yahweh.

There was a place in which You fulfilled all I need.
And I trembled because of Your love.

This brokenness I feel is the breaking of walls, 
the tearing of a curtain, Elohim, Adonai. 
Naked and unashamed. Beautiful and wretched. Falling at the feet of our Father.

I have chosen the way of truth;
I have set my heart on your laws. 
I hold fast to your statutes, O Lord;
do not let me be put to shame. 
I run in the path of your commands,
for you have set me free.

Take this empty page, and whisper the words that you want me to write. Break this heart, this disillusioned soul, so cold and tired. Your kingdom come.


To self-give.

What does it mean to give yourself to another?
What does it mean to sacrifice for another?
What does it mean to submit to another?

"For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said:
“Wake up, sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”

Be very careful, then, how you live ... Be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
Eph. 5:8-21

To live in Christ's body is to submit to Christ's body out of reverence for Christ...

I've experienced immeasurable pain in the past, fighting this. Vulnerability has been my worst fear. Selfishness my worst enemy. And I am still learning; how is it that we confront our fears, open up our mess for the world to see, and place it all at the feet of Jesus in submission and reverence? How do we allow ourselves to be weak when the world shouts at us to be strong? How do we allow ourselves to be loved when all we want to do is earn that love? How do we sacrifice our own desires in order for someone we love to discover their own?

Every single fibre of my soul is created to belong to this community of lovers, yet every single fibre of flesh is screaming out in protest. It hurts to submit, it hurts to support, it hurts to sacrifice. Yet for the good of the body, for the Lord of Lords, we are called to lay ourselves out and be cleansed, to lay our lives down and be reborn. The lay ourselves at the feet of our brothers and sisters, to wash the feet of our brothers and sisters, to hurt with our brothers and sisters.

I am still learning this sacrifice. I am still learning to let myself be loved, so that I can in turn love others. I am learning to hope, to fear, to obey, to submit. I am learning to painfully, slowly, beautifully, be loved, and to love.

Lianne La Havas ft. Willy Mason - No Room For Doubt


‎"Love without courage and wisdom is sentimentality, as with the ordinary church member. Courage without love and wisdom is foolhardiness, as with the ordinary soldier. Wisdom without love and courage is cowardice, as with the ordinary intellectual. But the one who has love, courage, and wisdom moves the world." - Ammon Hennacy


I would love an answer to this question...

When are you ever afraid to be vulnerable?

Why are we so afraid of vulnerability?

There is a comment box below. And I crave an answer.



Prayers of joy and thanksgiving.
A grating baritone, accompanying my clear night.
Two drifters, off to see the world
There’s such a lot of world to see.