26.8.11

That Banksy picture...a little girl reaching up high for her heart, hair blowing in the wind. That is how I feel, right about now.
I feel like my body is too small to be able to handle such a hurricane of emotions.
I feel like I'm on my tip-toes, reaching for the string to my heart, but its already been blown away.
I feel the wind whipping my hair, ballooning my skirt around my legs, and stinging my eyes.
I am exhausted, exhilarated, scared.
Scared beyond belief, kneeling at at my Fathers feet.


Mr J. Mayer has been playing all morning.
He pretty much says it all in In Repair...



Stood on the corner for a while,
To wait for the wind to blow down on me.
Hoping it takes with it my old ways,
And brings some brand new luck upon me.
Oh it's taking so long,

I could be wrong, I could be ready
Oh but if I take my heart's advice,
I should assume it's still unsteady.
I am in repair, I am in repair.

And now I'm walking in a park,
All of the birds they dance below me.
Maybe when things turn green again
It will be good to say you know me.

Oh it's taking so long,
I could be wrong, I could be ready.
Oh but if I take my heart's advice,
I should assume it's still unsteady.

Oh, yeah I'm never really ready.
Oh, yeah I'm never really ready.
I'm in repair,
I'm not together but I'm getting there
.


Are we ever really ready though? The higher up my heart blows, the more exposed I am, the bigger the walls around me grow.



I will wait until it comes back down to earth, until the walls are broken down, until the wind has been calmed.

Please Lord...less of me, more of You.

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