Amos 5

"Seek good and not evil—
 and live!
You talk about God, the God-of-the-Angel-Armies,
 being your best friend.
Well, live like it,
 and maybe it will happen.
I can't stand your religious meetings.
 I'm fed up with your conferences and conventions.
I want nothing to do with your religion projects,
 your pretentious slogans and goals.
I'm sick of your fund-raising schemes,
 your public relations and image making.
I've had all I can take of your noisy ego-music.
 When was the last time you sang to me?
Do you know what I want?
 I want justice—oceans of it.
I want fairness—rivers of it.
 That's what I want. That's all I want"


Lets get lost in one eternity, and discover the notes that hold together our song.



"As the deer pants for streams of water,
 so my soul pants for you, my God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
 When can I go and meet with God?"
(psalm 42)

We are so broken.
Surrounded pretty people, people who are easy to be with, easy to love. This is my "normal." How is that Christ-like? Loving on the lost, on the odd...its so much harder to do, and its exactly what Christ did.
We are shattered and we are nothing. It's so easy to make the pathetic claim that getting "uncomfortable for God" can be defined as talking to someone different for 5 minutes. As if we are so much higher up in the world that them. So easy to feel charitable and generous by throwing $2 into the hat of a faceless man sitting on the sidewalk, and not stop to smile at him, to talk to him. Jesus weeps for how little we sacrifice for Him. He calls us to testify to the widow, the orphan, the prisoner - literal people, not metaphorical symbols.

A friend of mine said, "There is a spark in you, from the creator of this world, all worlds. All else in us, shimmering glass, misty, clearer and clearer, like silver trumpets at the dawn. As less of you becomes more of Him, the glass that is you may reflect and expand the glory of the spark He chose for you."

I have been wrestling with myself. Weak, so utterly stripped down. I have no idea. And for 8 long months, I have been beating myself up. I have held myself down, again and again, and reminded myself of what I've done, my ugly desires, how perfect my God is and how imperfect I am. But God set me free this week, with Romans 8..."Through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. "For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son."

In my weakness I am made strong.
God, you are so good! This world is so broken. For the first time in a long time, my heart is broken and I cry at the pain I see. I thought God was stripping me down, leaving me naked, so that he could build me back up in to the woman He wants me to be. But He doesn't want to build me back up - he wants to leave me like this, naked and weak, on my knees with my arms around His feet, begging for more of Him.

He wants me to want nothing but Him. He wants me to have nothing but Him. He wants be to do nothing without Him.

The glory of God reflecting and expanding, shining over all His people. It's about loving those who aren't loved. Not wearing shoes just so you can feel some of the pain in the earth. Being weak at Gods feet. Crying because your heart cannot contain the brokeness. I want to feel the joy and the love and the strength of God every day, and I want it to overflow and pour out of me on to every single person I see, I want to not be able contain it, because my flesh is so weak that this joy and love and strength that is the Spirit of Christ takes over and rules my life.

I want to love on the world.
Millions of pieces of the world, shifting and changing, lost and singing out to a Creator who doesn't try to patch them up in to a beautiful glasshouse, but hold them in His hand and sings gently to each and every one, and the beauty that it holds...



why am i in wellington?

what is God's purpose for me here?

am i allowing my faith in Jesus, my Savior, to really be stretched and challeged?

are my relationships here really relflecting my call to be Christ-like and loving to all of God's creation?

am i being challenged and am i growing in the faith community i am in?

where does God want me to go from here?

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” Jer. 29

great quotes from a great man...C.S.Lewis.

"A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell."

"I gave in and admitted God was God."

"The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us."

"I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me."

"Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

"I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to."

"I didn’t go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don’t recommend Christianity."

"It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

"I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?"

"All that we call human history--money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery [is] the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."

"The great thing to remember is that though our feelings come and go God s love for us does not."