Where did the year go??

It is my last day of Intermission today. Wow.

Our small class of 10 have spent the year together. We've laughed, cried, argued, discussed the meaning of worship, the pain of poverty, the brokeness of the world, and who we are to God. We've lived together, lived apart, we are whanau. And now we are parting after a year living in each others pockets.
Isn't it interesting how we humans are so relational, so dependant on one another? I am sure I've touched on this in one of my other blogs. But it's so, so obvious that God is a God of community, a God of relationship (he is 3 beings in one, after all) and we are such mirror images of that! Its truly beautiful.

So my year is coming to a slow and sunny close, and I am surprisingly not sad. Perhaps it's because I am looking forward to going away with the crew for a week after we've finished anyway, so I don't really think that it's goodbye...which it's not, anyway. But still...365 days have wizzed by ridiculously fast! Oh and the things that have happened! Who would have thought??


My friend Kim did her photojournalism assignment on Christian youth of today...all about the modern face of the Church. I was in it, which was an interesting experience! She has done such a beautiful job putting it all together :)
To watch it, the password is; kimberlee13


Catharsis. n. "The purging of the emotions or relieving of emotional tensions, esp. through certain kinds of art, as tragedy or music."

I am sitting in my pajama's at the kitchen table researching. Researching is what I cannot stand...it is the preparation for the excitement of putting together words and sentances and paragraphs in to a beautifully executed essay. Yet what is the essay without the knowledge? And where is the knowlege without the research? So perhaps I should love research.

I got accepted in to university - Wellington's University of Victoria. I also got accepted in to Auckland University, but my heart is set on Wellington, and I got in to the student hostel I applied for, so therefore, windy Wellington here I come! Conjoint Bachelor of Laws and Bachelor of Arts. BA majoring in Development Studies and Politics, minoring in International Relations.
Law is law.
I do not exactly know what one does when one is planning on packing up 18 years of life and moving 400km south. For a semi-permanant period of time...do I take everything, empty my room and migrate for good? Or leave bits and pieces of my old life in my old room, just so that i can come back and know that I haven't lost who I used to be? Perhaps if I do that, it will allow my mum to retain a part of me in her house. She'd like that...

Things I want to take with me, but probably won't be able to;
1. My double bed. She has been with me for a year now, but heart-breakingly, we shall have to depart. Why do flats on top of carpark buildings have rooms so snmall that a bed could not be added? Plus. They have single beds already. Sigh.
2. My car. Who needs a car in a city where you are living 10 min walk from Cuba St? Yet...there is something homely about having your own car travel with you and keep you company.
3. The sun. Praise Jesus for summer holidays. I don't believe I will get a tan in Wellington, but at least I can migrate back home for the Christmas months :)
Things I WILL take with me to Wellington;
1. My woollen duvet. Somehow it smells of clean sheep still, and reminds me of Goat Island camping holidays.
2. A new laptop. This will be exciting, expensive, and enable me to live a proper 21st century lifestyle.
3. Lots of coffee beans, and grinder and a plunger. Necessary.
4. Sonya Jasmine.
5. And a pile of books.

I have immense pride in being a New Zealander. I like that I can move from the largest, most ethnic city, to the capital city, and only be a half hour flight away. I like that I am moving from a semi-tropical climate (which really just means that it rains one minute and is sunny the next) to a climate in which the weather lasts all day, is beautifully fresh and blows wind like nothing else. I like that I can visit my family, my friends, Paul, easily. And that they can visit me. And I like that everybody knows somebody you know. This is helpful.

I do not like that NZ has people like Paul Henry or Rodney Hide. But I suppose all countries have people that are general idiots.

I am scared to move? But excited. Yes, excited. it is an adventure, an experience! I will be in little flat close to everything, cooking vegetarian meals, studying in libraries, living and loving a completely new set of people. I will be a different me. With new, square glasses frames and poetry falling around me. And law lectures and spanish tutors and volunteering with refugee kids. I am excited!
And scared. Please, Lord be with me.


first of october

Wake up. What to do? A new month perhaps means the loss of the last month. And all its plans and structures and things.

I had a dream. about men who were reaching out to me and wanting my warmth and children covered in paint and lovers about to get their hearts broken.

I've had  shift. I sat to to pray. "God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" A seemingly never-ending nothingness that stretched for miles and ended in the coldness of my heart. Because my head lay down across that road and thought it out and wrote an essay but my heart was left on the sidewalk, slowly petrifying as time flew by.
So I had a shift. Heart to heart, head to heart. "God , my God, remember and hold me in my petrified state."

Victoria university has thousands of applications a year. I worry that mine is in no way unique. Hello. My name is Olivia. 3 words about me? Hmmm...Passionate, Communicative, Perceptive? Please give me somewhere to live!
Victoria University, Central House, I NEED you. Please Jesus!

My weary smile lights up in some instances when I think of...