23.7.10

change change change.

"Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes
That call me on and on across the universe
Thoughts meander like a
restless wind inside a letter box
they tumble blindly as
they make their way across the universe."

I am so tired. Lectures, lesson plans, teaching, helping, serving, NO sleeping...it catches up on you. The last week I have been non-stop. It doesn't please me, it just confuses me.

The Beatles are amazing.

So...Wellington 2011? There is a hostel, called Central House - a part of Central Baptist Church in Wellington city and only $140 a week plus food - sweet! A 20 walk away from Kelburn Campus at Victoria university, no petrol costs, I'm sorted?
The thing is, I need to leave Auckland. Everyone keeps saying; "You can study the same thing in Auckland / You can be in an intentional community in Auckland / It's cheaper to stay at home / Don't just run away from everything here / blah blah blah." But talking to Alana and Sonya, I realised...It's not about what I'm doing down there. It's not about the changes I'm making - It's about the change that I am. I need to find myself. Figure out who I am, away from everything I've always been to my family, my friends, my church, my class...
So yes, in a way I am running away. But I am also running TO something. I am running toward myself.

It is exciting and scary and new and surreal and and and...everything all at once.

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